mindofpeacellc

Back to School

Mon, 28 Aug 2023 00:33:16 GMT

It’s the end of summer break and that means it is time to return to school. For many students, this is an exciting time of year. A whole new year full of new classes, new teachers and new experiences. However, for some students this can be a very stressful time of year, especially for those students who identify as LGBTQ. For those students, going back to school can be anxiety inducing and excruciatingly stressful. Having to face the school year prepared for more than just class schedules, notebooks and number two pencils, but having to be mentally prepared for a daily barrage of discrimination, being misgendered and most likely being met with violence, bullying or ridicule.

When our young people find themselves in schools where they are being discriminated against, ridiculed, misgendered, facing violence, bulling and feel they are not safe or affirmed they end up feeling depressed and alone and become at risk for mental illness and possibly attempting or completing suicide.

Research has shown for several years that children that are bullied in school or online are far more likely to become depressed and attempt suicide. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among young individuals aged 10-24 years old (Hedegaard, Curtin, & Warner, 2018) and this risk increases for those young folx that belong to the LGBTQ.

It is so important for children of every age to have safe and affirming spaces, free of physical harm and bullying. Without these spaces they are much more likely to feel alone and become depressed. Of course, as parents, you cannot always be there to fix the world around our children, but you can foster that safe space at home. You can be there for them, accept them, support them, make sure they know that that you are there for them and safe to come to. You can help them by speaking up for them and help them to find their voice to speak their truth and advocate for themselves. Perhaps even help make those safe space. Become an Ally.

- Heidi Schults

It is so important to have people to talk to, to have support. If you or someone you love is struggling, please reach out.

Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: 988

Crisis Text Line: Text Hello to 741747

YouthLine: Text teen2teen to 839863, or call 1-877-968-8491

The Trevor Project: 1-811-565-8860

LGBT National Hotline: 1-888-843-4564

LGBT National Youth Talkline: 1-800-246-7743

Trans Lifeline: 1-877-565-8860

Crisis Text Line: text TWLOHA to 741741

Veterans Crisis Line: 800-273-8255 (press 1)

The Importance of Assertive Communication

Wed, 22 Feb 2023 00:25:40 GMT

Feeling unheard?

You are not alone if you have ever left a tough conversation feeling like the other person simply wasn’t hearing what you were trying to say. This happens for A LOT of people for several different reasons, but they all link back to a lack of assertive communication.

We all know those people who tend to captivate everyone in the room and it just seems like everyone gets it when they finish talking. It can be easy to become frustrated that everyone seems to hear them out, respect their opinions, and go out of their way to gain this person’s favor. Do you know what all of those wonderfully captivating people have in common? Their special super power?

Confidence.

They have the confidence to say what is on their minds clearly and powerfully, as if what they have to say holds some weight to others in the room. These people do not just state their opinions confidently but they show their confidence through their tone of voice, their body language, volume, and full presentation. These captivating people do not sit quietly in a corner, take orders, agree to take on more than they have time for, and allow others to run over them. You don’t have to be the boss to carry this kind of confidence, but you do have to have a higher level or respect for yourself in order for others to respect you equally.

The truth is, we can all embody this super power if we so choose by adopting an assertive communication style. Assertive is a style of communication in which an individual is able to stand up for their needs and wants while also considering the needs and wants of others without showing passive aggression or physical aggression. Too often we view assertiveness as selfishness or rudeness, when in reality it is essential to our growth and thriving.

Adopting an assertive communication style can and WILL change the way that not only others look at you and perceive you, but it will change the way that you see yourself. THAT my friend is the most important part. Seeing yourself in a new light - a light that is important, confident, competent, and worthy of attention will transform the way that you move forward in your life as you encounter new relationships and new opportunities.

Tips for becoming an assertive communicator

Its okay to say no sometimes! Know your limits and what you are capable of doing without overloading yourself. You don’t have to explain yourself.
Plan what you are going to say and practice running through it until you are able to do so confidently.
Express your thoughts and feeling calmly rather than yelling, criticizing, giving the silent treatment, or threatening. Use I statements! “I feel annoyed when you do ….”
Respect yourself and others - its okay to state your needs as long as you are doing it in a respectful way and not compromising their rights

Example of what to say:

“I’m feeling super overwhelmed with everything going on at school lately and taking on the bulk of the household chores lately is leaving me exhausted. I know you’re really busy too, but do you feel like there is anything we can do to start dividing household tasks more equally?”

Example of what not to say:

“I am so overwhelmed with everything going on at school lately and then I come home to our apartment looking like a tornado came through it. I just don’t understand why you have to be so messy and refuse to pick up after yourself. All I ever do is clean up after you when I get home and I never get to rest.”

Let’s be truthful here…

We all get overwhelmed and overstimulated and that is okay. It is part of human nature and balancing work, school, relationships, and family do not make it any easier. However, backing down and becoming a door mat to keep from rocking the boat is only going to make your life more miserable. Taking charge of our lives starts with assertive communication and effective follow through. YOU CAN DO THIS!

- Heidi Schults

The Benefits of Laughter!!

Tue, 17 Jan 2023 00:22:01 GMT

Physical Benefits

At its most basic level, laughter exercises your diaphragm. It enables you to take in more oxygenated air and stimulates your lungs. During those moments of raucous laughter, you are relieving physical tension in your muscles.

Laughter Can Boost Heart Health

While those muscles relax during what seems like a minor activity, medical professionals inform us that you improve your vascular functioning, too. As you laugh at hilarious events, your cardiac health improves. Laughter increases your heart rate and lowers your blood pressure.

Humor Brings Comfort and Eases Physical Pain

Robert Bonakdar, MD, FAAFP, FACN, director of pain management at the Scripps Center for Integrative Medicine, lightens the mood when he greets patients. He says he likes to bring laughter into the treatment room whenever possible. He commonly uses an ice breaker to help to put patients at ease and hopefully bring a smile to their faces. This approach is purposeful. He’s not only helping his patients feel more comfortable by bringing laughter into his practice, but he’s also contributing to lessening their perception of pain.

Did you know that laughter doesn’t just feel

good but that it’s good FOR you?

"We know that laughter has been shown in studies to improve your pain threshold, likely due to an endorphin-mediated opiate effect. What is interesting is that this appears to be independent of your mood, meaning that it can have a positive effect even when you are down."

Robert Bonakdar, MD, FAAFP, FACN

Let’s say you have a migraine, but you’re watching a hysterically funny Netflix show. As you watch and laugh, you may become at least somewhat distracted from the migraine pain and discomfort. But the distraction alone isn’t what reduces your pain perception.

Proven processes are working behind the scenes in your body to increase your pain tolerance. Endorphins, for example, get to work. Because you’re laughing up a storm, your body produces these natural painkillers. 2 Laughter Can Improve Sleep and Boost Immunity Psychologist Scott Bea, PsyD, says that laughing heartily and a lot offers another physical benefit: Research shows it can improve sleep quality as well.

Overall, extensive laughter supports the immune system, which makes you more resistant to disease. By laughing, you are increasing antibody-producing cells and enhancing the effectiveness of T cells in your body. These cells act like a defense army to combat illness.

Recap

Physical benefits of laughter can include improving your heart health, boosting your pain tolerance, boosting your immunity, and improving your sleep.

Psychological Benefits

Humor can alleviate the stress and anxiety we deal with during a variety of difficult and challenging times.

Laughing Reduces Stress

Clinical evidence shows that humor reduces stress hormones. 5 Cortisol is a major stress hormone that circulates throughout your body when you’re stressed out. Decreasing levels of cortisol is important because high levels of cortisol tax your immune system.

When you’re preoccupied with something funny, you can’t simultaneously focus on the negativity. Humorous interludes can give you a break from worrying. That space, that place where you can let your hair down and breathe, in and of itself is beneficial.

Humor can provide healthy perspective. Maybe after laughing, you discover a new angle on the problem. Perhaps you realize that you’ve gotten through other difficult periods and are reassured. With a new perspective, you might view threats such as challenges and problems as opportunities. Or you might intentionally find the funny aspects of your stressful problem. If you’re embarrassed about something or need to forgive yourself for a mistake you made, you can use humor and laughter as a coping mechanism.

Humor Improves Memory

Another benefit of using humor that might surprise you relates to the brain as well. Using humor improves memory retention. When relevant humor is paired with a fact, you'll have better recollection of that fact.

In a study focused on humor's relationship to politics and news, researchers found that the information had a higher chance of being both remembered

and shared if the content made the participant laugh. Humor Promotes Spread and Retention of News, Study Finds

Social Benefits

It’s more than OK to laugh together at things that are amusing, ludicrous, or absurd. Relationships benefit when you connect with others through humor.

Laughter Brings People Together

A shared laugh creates bonds between people. Most of us remember a time when laughter became contagious and spread fast from two people through a group. People usually feel closer after laughing together, too.

Laughter Adds Positivity to Conversations

Humor has another worthwhile social benefit: It creates more positive communications between people. 8 Just by sharing a meme or telling a joke, the other person is more predisposed to want to talk to you. Using humor, especially during tricky conversations or disagreements, can pave the way for a better discussion. It diffuses tension and relaxes the other person. Sharing funny stories will not only cheer up your friend, relative, or co-worker but will add to their well-being. They will likely walk away in a better mood and happier than before, too. It all comes down to engaging with people in a human way. To laugh at one of your own traits or poke fun at yourself about a mistake you made requires a shared understanding of humanity.

"There is something sacred about humor. If you can laugh at yourself, then you can forgive yourself. And if you can forgive yourself, you can forgive others."

Bianca L. Rodriguez, LMFT

Humor Helps You Understand Yourself and Others

Therapist Bianca L. Rodriguez, LMFT , underscores how the benefits of humor go beyond the physical, psychological, and social realms. It connects with our understanding of ourselves and others. She says, “Humor is imperative to empathy and compassion, and forgiveness is a tenet of every spiritual tradition for this reason.”

Therefore, turn to whatever makes you laugh, especially during trying times. Those viral TikTok videos and funny memes are not momentary pleasures. They help us cope with anxiety, fear, and grief. At the same time, you’ll also be activating a host of health-related benefits for yourself and others.

Recap

Psychological benefits of laughter and humor including reducing stress, boosting memory, and improving your social relationships.

Laughter is more than just something that feels good in the moment, it can have real benefits for your physical, psychological, and social well-being. You can bring more humor into your life by looking for opportunities to laugh. Seek out things that bring joy and laughter to your life, whether it is your

favorite sitcom or a silly TikTok.

-Heidi Schults

Health Benefits of Humor and Laughter

What about AFTER the holidays? Ditching the Holiday Blues

Wed, 07 Dec 2022 00:09:41 GMT

Introduction

The holiday season is a time to spend with family and friends, but it can also be hard on your mental health. There are so many different things going on at once — gatherings with friends and family, gifts to buy and wrap, decorations to set up — that it's easy to get overwhelmed by all the excitement. If you're feeling depressed during this time of year, there are some steps you can take to help yourself feel better.

When the holidays come around we see a whole new batch of movies, there's tons of parties to attend, and we get excited about buying gifts for friends and family.

It's the holidays and we're all feeling a little bit more jolly. When the holidays come around we see a whole new batch of movies, there's tons of parties to attend, and we get excited about buying gifts for friends and family. The holidays are also a time when we hear Christmas carols endlessly playing in stores or on the radio. It can be hard to resist getting caught up in all of this excitement!

Sometimes it's hard to break out of that high-fiving, partying, stress-free mindset once the season is over.

Sometimes it's hard to break out of that high-fiving, partying, stress-free mindset once the season is over. Even though people are trying to get back into a more normal routine, they still might be feeling a little sad or confused about what happened during the holidays. For instance, if you had a relationship end or lost someone close to you during this time period, it may not have fully hit you yet until now. That can cause some sadness and confusion as well as having difficulty getting back into your regular life routine (or even sleeping). It's important to take time for yourself and allow yourself time to heal from any emotional pain due to any loss or other issues you may have experienced during the holidays.

It's easy to lose track of ourselves in the frenzy of shopping, and when we do that we become vulnerable to strong negative feelings.

What do you do when your holiday season is less than jolly?

First, you have to remind yourself that it's not even your job to make sure everyone around you is always happy. You can't control other people's behaviors or how they choose to spend their time. The only thing you can control is how you spend your own time and what kind of energy you bring into the world.
Second, when we stop celebrating happy moments and focus on sad ones we end up feeling even more depressed than we would if we'd just let go of our negative thoughts in the first place! It's important for us all to make sure we take care of ourselves during the holidays—and beyond—so that we can be there for those around us who might need us most during this time

If you start to feel depressed during or soon after the holidays you may be suffering from depression fatigue or postholiday depression.

If you start to feel depressed during or soon after the holidays you may be suffering from depression fatigue or postholiday depression. Depression fatigue is a mood disorder that involves feeling fatigued, sluggish and unmotivated, often without any other emotional symptoms. Postholiday depression tends to hit later, within a week of returning home and settling into your regular routine after vacation. It can last for several weeks.

The holiday season can be full of exciting new things — visiting relatives, playing with your kids, planning year-end events — but it can also be stressful, confusing, and draining.

Every day, we are presented with opportunities to choose how we want our time to be spent. And the more we can focus on choosing positive experiences for ourselves and our loved ones, the less likely we are to get bogged down by the stress of the holidays. The idea that there is something inherently wrong with being unhappy during this time of year is a myth. We all have experiences that bring us joy, but also experiences that make us sad. For some people, it’s difficult not to feel upset when their family ignores them or doesn’t invite them over for Christmas dinner — but other people may find themselves feeling down because their family did invite them over for Christmas dinner but only because they felt obligated to do so and didn't really want them there at all!

If someone is in an abusive relationship or experiencing a serious illness like cancer or depression during this time of year (or any other time), then yes—the holidays can certainly become stressful! It might seem contradictory that someone would choose an abusive relationship over celebrating happy moments with their friends or family members during this season; however, sometimes these situations can happen without any warning signs beforehand such as depression symptoms showing up gradually instead of suddenly out-of-the blue."

You can't control other people's behaviors or how they choose to spend their time.

As much as we might like to, you can't control other people's behaviors or how they choose to spend their time. However, there are a few things you can do that will help lessen the impact of this stressor.

The first thing is to remind yourself that these things are not your fault. As humans, we tend to take on other people's problems as our own—but that's not always necessary or helpful. You may have noticed this when someone around you gets sick: You feel sicker too! It can be very difficult not to take on others' emotions and issues in this way because it feels like we're being helpful by caring about them so much; however, sometimes it's better for all parties involved if you're able to detach yourself from situations and keep yourself out of harm's way (literally!).

Another thing I like doing when faced with stressful situations is taking deep breaths and counting backwards from ten (or however many numbers it takes until I feel calm). This helps me refocus my attention away from whatever situation triggered the anger/frustration/sadness/etc., etc., etc., towards something more wholesome—in this case: self-care!

You can only control how you spend your own time.

You can’t control other people's behaviors or how they choose to spend their time. That might feel unfair, but it’s important to remember that no one—not even the most dedicated and generous of friends and family—can read your mind and anticipate what you need in a given moment. You can only control how you spend your own time during this busy season.

Don't waste precious energy wishing someone would change their behavior or attitude toward you, because it won't happen unless they want it to happen (and sometimes even then). What happens is often outside of our control, so focusing on what we can do instead is important for happiness and peace of mind during stressful times like these!

When we stop celebrating happy moments and focus on sad ones we end up feeling even more depressed.

It’s important to focus on the good things in life, and not let yourself get overwhelmed by what you can’t control.

So next time you feel down about the holidays, try these tips:

Focus on what makes you happy and what brings you joy. What do you love about the holiday season? Do something that brings those feelings back – whether it’s baking cookies with your kids or watching Christmas movies with friends!
Don't take things personally. It's easy for people to be grumpy during the holidays because they're stressed out dealing with family issues or work deadlines. If someone says something rude to you, don't assume it's aimed at just YOU personally - there may be other reasons why they are upset right now (like having too much going on around them). Think of this as a time when people need extra help from their loved ones; don't isolate yourself because someone else may seem unkind!

You can make it easier to enjoy being alone by doing things that you like to do.

Ditching the holiday blues is all about finding new ways to enjoy your time alone. It's easy to get stuck in a rut after Christmas and New Year's, so it's important to shake things up and try new things.

Try doing something you've never done before, like taking an improv class or traveling somewhere you've always wanted to go! You could also try learning a new skill—maybe even something fun like how to play guitar or dance salsa! Or maybe your idea of fun is staying home with Netflix and chocolate chip cookies, which is totally fine too! If there are things that cost money involved (like travel), but they're not important enough that they'll keep you from enjoying yourself if they don't work out, then go ahead and give them a shot! You might be pleasantly surprised at what happens once everything gets going!

When all else fails, look outside yourself for support: find friends who will do activities with you on their own time; reach out on social media if nothing comes up organically; ask family members if there are any activities they'd like company while doing during the holidays (this may mean visiting relatives).

Conclusion

If you're feeling down, try to remember that everybody goes through times like this. Don't feel bad about yourself just because you're having some tough days! There's no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed if you need some extra time and support during the holidays.

Don't waste precious energy wishing someone would change their behavior or attitude toward you, because it won't happen unless they want it to happen. What happens is often outside of our control, so focusing on what we can do instead is important for happiness and peace of mind during stressful times like these!

-Heidi Schults

Forgiveness

pcbackdraftmarketing@gmail.com (Pete J) — Wed, 14 Sep 2022 00:01:07 GMT

Forgiveness is something that I talk to people about all the time in therapy and anytime I get together with other therapists, that topic also comes up in short order almost every single time at least at some point. It’s such a difficult topic for people and I often share that the whole process is a lot like “writing a letter to your grandmother …if you were doing so while looking into a mirror.” Let me explain how that could possibly make sense. First much like forgiveness is good to do for the sake of doing…so is writing a handwritten letter to your grandmother. But why does doing something that is so inherently wholesome and good have to be handwritten, and difficult (backwards)? Well because that’s what your grandmother would most appreciate, your handwriting and a stamp, and a physical note to hold in her hands and keep likely to hold it and you close to her heart. The difficult work of forgiveness is just the fullness of the process….it’s what works. Forgiveness is difficult because usually when we’re offended or hurt by someone the additional work of forgiveness is not a welcome addition to the burden of that hurt or offense. After all, it doesn’t seem fair that we should have to add the work of forgiveness to our lives when we did not choose to be offended or hurt by someone else. The resentment that prompts the need to go through the process of forgiveness is not something we collected with our own free will…it was thrust upon us against our will. We’re often lost in the thought process that forgiving someone is equivalent to “forgetting” what happened or somehow conveying to the offender that we’re ok with what happened or now that all is forgiven they have our permission to have hurt us. The process feels so unfair, and so overwhelming.

That unfairness brings the subject full circle though, because holding onto resentments in an effort to somehow punish the person in the only way available to us (withholding forgiveness or our affection or love) is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. Resentment is like sand at the beach. It will find it’s way into anything and everything you bring with you…your towel, your shoes, and even your sandwich, no matter how carefully you preserve and protect it. Resentment will leak into your work, your relationships with co-workers, your friendships, your love life, every single area will be tainted by it. Going through the work of forgiveness is difficult, its offensive, and it’s unfair….and it will also set you free. Forgiveness is the vehicle that transports you into the future free from your resentments.

Now whoever came up with the saying “forgive and forget” has created more trauma, and hardship for more people than can be counted. I can assure you that forgiveness has NOTHING to do with forgetting what happened, or allowing the same thing to happen to you again in the future. I mean come on…once we know the truth about a certain jolly old elf, and a mythical winged creature assigned certain dental duties…we cannot unknow that truth. We can’t “forget”. Forgetting isn’t even possible. That is however; where boundaries come in! If you have a friend that comes to your house and steals your car…and you go through the whole forgiveness process and make the choice to forgive that person and allow them to once again be part of your life, and eventually come over to your home for the backyard BBQ….you don’t have to leave your car keys on the counter. Those are boundaries.

Once you’ve contemplated, and gotten ready and proceeded into the dark waters of forgiveness, then I usually get some more questions like: “How will I know when I am finished with this?” Here comes the good news! You know when you’re finished with forgiveness when you don’t hurt anymore…and you can look back on history with clarity that will allow you to remember the good things, and the good times, and not only the bad things and the trauma. Like when you broke your arm…you remember that pain, you don’t forget that you broke the arm…but you acknowledge that it doesn’t hurt anymore because the injury has had time and space to heal.

“Why do I have to tell the person who hurt me that I forgive them?” That is something that you absolutely do not have to do! That is a choice that you get to make, if and when you are ready to do so. You can absolutely have a complete work of forgiveness and never share that information with the person who hurt you.

“Why would I forgive them I don’t want them in my life anymore!” This is where boundaries come in! You can absolutely have a complete work of forgiveness and NOT allow this person to be a part of your current life or your future. You can also change your mind and move boundaries as you need to in your future. Your contact with this person could be “No for now.” and be more inclusive later and going forward should you choose that to be more appropriate.

Forgiveness isn’t about letting go its about having some sense control over your life and your future! It’s about peace.....for yourself.

Courage!

Wed, 31 Aug 2022 06:43:50 GMT

What is courage? Is it the absence of fear? Is it feeling the fear and moving forward in spite of it?

The root of the word courage is cor- the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms , the word courage had a very different definition than it does today. Courage originally meant "To speak one's mind by telling all one's heart". Over time, this definition changed and today courage is more synonymous with being heroic . We've lost touch with the idea that speaking honestly and openly about who we are, what we're feeling, and about our experiences (good and bad) is the definition of courage. "Ordinary courage is about putting our vulnerability on the line." -Brene Brown

There is a saying amongst Veterans that ,"It takes the strength of a warrior to ask for help".

Meeting Clients Where They Are.....

Fri, 01 Jul 2022 06:43:51 GMT

Working in the counseling field you never know who might walk through your door or be on the screen when the session starts. With time things change; therapy sessions are being conducted in various ways and the therapist needs to be prepared to meet their client where they are at.

Being able to connect with everyone is an essential part of counseling and that’s what Mind of Peace Counseling strives for. We are here to bridge the gap through listening and understanding each client individual needs.

Daily people are looking for new ways to cope/manage their mental health or substance abuse issues. Being vulnerable to share your own life experiences and learning through various techniques and skills could improve in your life. With writing this blog I came a crossed a YouTube video “Meeting people where they are” attached https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejC-l2JhYYI .

So, I can procrastinate at times (writing this blog), but I encourage each one of you if you’re struggling reach out the team at Mind of Peace Counseling will do our best to get you through your clouds.

When your sky gets cloudy, just wait there is blue sky to follow.

Lyndsey Burton, MS LPC

Give away what you want!?

Sat, 04 Jun 2022 06:43:52 GMT

I've never written a blog post before. I've also not spent a lot of time reading blogs, so if I miss the mark here, I guess that is how it will have to be. When we decided "A blog would be a fantastic way to connect with people trying to learn about what we do at Mind of Peace Counseling " a dread washed over me. Talking to people is my jam! Helping people solve problems their way, is the most fun thing I could ever imagine! Writing to them....is another animal.

As I sit here this Saturday afternoon trying to decide exactly what I could share that others could find value in I decided to focus on happiness. So many people desire happiness, money can't buy it and trying to find it is the focus of all kinds of modern art and music. Of course it's polar opposite is depression, something I help people with on a daily basis. Happiness is indeed elusive but it also attainable... if you have a plan. Happiness is there for all of us.

Several years ago I stumbled upon a Ted talk given by a monk named David Steindle-Rast entitled "Want to be happy? Be grateful" https://youtu.be/UtBsl3j0YRQ I've included the link here for the curious. This message was inspiring to me, and humbling. We have so much and pay attention to so little. Gratitude forms the foundation of his discussion as the vehicle one can utilize to find more happiness, 14:30 well spent in my book.

As I've pondered further on the topic, it's my thought that though he discusses "receiving a gift that is freely given" inspiring the feeling of gratitude. It's the giver he forgets to touch on. Have you ever helped someone and they were so excited you were there for them? You just felt so good, like to the core of your being? You're driving home and telling yourself, " Man...I'm am winning right now...this is me living my best life! I loved that!"? There is true joy in that moment. Unbridled happiness. You didn't get anything? You gave away your time. Maybe you gave away resources? You gifted your emotional reserves to someone else. So where does this joy come from?

I'll tell you. You get back, what you give away. If you do things that you know bring others joy, that joy comes back to you. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but rest assured, it is coming for you. Conversely if you're unkind to others, or you intentionally hurt people (think bullies here) that too is coming back for you, maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow but it is absolutely coming for you.

Go big or go home on this one; trust me. If you're crippled with anxiety; give away calm. It doesn't have to be a human that you give it to, gift it to the family dog. Volunteer at a shelter and gift it to a cat if you don't have an animal of your own. All you have to do is start somewhere, you're efforts don't have to be perfect.

Sometimes life hands us a stinker, it's what you do with it that matters.

Lynette Belknap-Williams